Whenever I think of New Year’s Eve I think of old movies. Women decked to the nines, men dressed in suits, people ringing in the New Year with champagne flutes and a full on orchestra playing in the background. Really sucks when you are alone. It REALLY really sucks if you are a widow with a vivid imagination.
In the last couple of days I’ve gotten some emails about New Year’s Eve that have jogged my memory about how difficult that first New Years Eve was. Alone, watching tv, eating lean cuisine, alone. Pretty sad state of affairs. And today, when I received one of those New Year’s Eve emails, I remembered, I have never lived the lifestyle of the New Year’s Eve of my Mind.
Primarily, New Year’s Eve is a night of comfort and casualness. A night where I would plan for my dreams for the next year. The collage starting to take place. Every year taking the time to work out a VISION MAP, what I wanted to see happen the next year. But, the first years of widowhood instead, I tormented myself with a sense of aloneness…a sense of life moving forward…me staying in place.
So, tonight, my friends, let’s all dream a little bigger. Let’s all look forward to 2011 and figure out a way to make it better. A way we can pick ourselves up and create some magic. May be this will be the year we will _________just because we have always wanted to. May be this will be the year to tattoo that special image on our inner thigh. May be this will be the year to STOP taking those horrible vitamins because they probably don’t REALLY work anyway.
New Year’s Eve can be one of those devilish holidays that seems to cry out, “LOSER, where is your party hat and horn?” “Why are you sitting eating pizza and watching Love Actually again for the 5th time?
Really? being a widow doesn’t mean we have to go psychotic and recreate a life we never lived. Seriously, did you ever wear that party hat and sip champagne from a Waterford flute? And if you did was it REALLY like it was in the movies?
Sometimes our minds really mess with us at times like this. In the meantime 2010 is almost over! Celebrate that a New Year is upon us and with that a BUNCH of NEW firsts… hmmmmmm still thinking about that nose piercing…