I want to get married sooooo bad. God are you not listening to me? I’m lonely and you said I was supposed to get married again. How come he hasn’t come yet? To say I was miserable was a HUGE understatement. Very few people want something as bad as I wanted a husband.
While I was waiting I heard it all. Just be patient, just get your husband off your mind. When you love God enough then your husband will come. Really? Really, love God enough. I thought I did. I kept trying to get him off my mind but I couldn’t. Every Christmas, every Valentine’s Day, every person that got married only made it worse for me. I thought I would NEVER get married again.
To make it even worse when I was in Bible School I had to write a sermon for the Preaching Lab I was in. I fasted and prayed about what to write and guess what? My sermon was called “Why Should a Person Want to, Desire to or Seek to get Married.” What the heck, Lord are you kidding me? I want to get married, I really do. Well I think I want to get married.
At the time I was looking for a physical relationship and for financial security. Those two things are not good reasons AT ALL to propel you towards marriage. I truly wanted to be married again but I never wanted to be divorced again.
During the 10 years that I was waiting to meet my husband. God did some incredible things in me. He healed me of the hurt from the divorce and the way my ex-husband treated me. I sold out to the Lord to the point I really did let it go. It was only God that helped me release it because I couldn’t do it. I decided if my husband wasn’t going to come then I was going to have some fun and start fulfilling the call on my life.
In Tulsa there are 50 United Methodist Churches. Most of them are very small and have a very small amount of single people. I was very lonely on Friday and Saturday nights and I figured there’s a ton of people like me. I started networking with the other churches through their pastors. I created a spreadsheet of email addresses. Every week I would research what church was doing what or what group was doing something and I sent out an email to all the people on my list to let them know what was going on. I was having a great time.
This idea got so big I found out about a church having a Single’s Summit in October of that year. Here I was sitting at the table with Senior & Single’s Pastors discussing how to develop the Singles Summit. Sure enough I met my husband Peter that April. We were married by July so I never got to go to or help create that Summit. I sure hope it went well.
Why am I talking about this? I want to share some things about my time while I was waiting for my Boaz. The first thing I did was pray and asked the Lord what should I believe for in a husband. I needed a list of what to expect. God gave me my list. A man that loves me as Christ loves the church, tither, giver, 100 fold giver, loves God more than I do, he’s a Godly example of a man for my son and we’re socially, sexually and church compatible. You might note that I didn’t ask anything about looks or money. I knew those things would be taken care of because women need security.
I prayed over him daily. While you’re waiting for your spouse to come into your life pray for them. They are alive and well on the earth somewhere. God knows their name, even if you don’t.
Become the person God wants you to be. Be the very best person you can be. Sell out to God and start working on the ministry God has called you to. You don’t have to wait until you have your spouse to do what God wants you to do.
Don’t settle for just anybody – wait for God’s best. Believe me I wanted to settle, out of desperation, lots of times. Whenever I would pray and ask God if this one was it can I have them? The Lord would say which thing on your list do you want to give up? I said, “I want all of them.” His reply, “then he ain’t it.”
If he tries to paw you on your first date – run for the hills he’s acting like a Bozo and not a Boaz. A Boaz will be respectful, kind and loving. If he doesn’t have a job, (claims he’s in between jobs), doesn’t have a car, and a bank account then run for the mountains. You don’t want to support someone. Watch how they treat their parents, wait people at restaurants, how do they behave at church. Watch him before you even begin to start giving your heart away.
Your spouse is out there but remember this – IT’S BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO BE MARRIED AND ALONE!