POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING:
To start with…I didn’t stream for almost a week because my depression was severely triggered. I was seeing a sweet, handsome 6’3 Korean body builder when it happened. In the end he said he wasn’t “emotionally strong enough” to deal with my being so damaged. At least he had the decency to talk on the phone and tell me, which in this day and age is rare, which is HIGHLY messed up. The thing is, I got triggered by someone I thought was a friend. Someone I’ve been talking to every single night for a month…about everything, and for hours at a time. Yet last Wednesday he felt like being an asshole. The next night he apologized, but the damage to the relationship I’d hoped to build with the Korean guy had been done. AND THEN Friday night…he did it again and kept it up through the weekend…to the point where I got triggered one more time, which set me into suicidal mode. I fought it for the past several days, but most of that time is pretty hazy. I finally got back on today social media today, as I got off of it from Sunday til today, and my good friend, Fernando, said he missed seeing me play so I came back for him.

This needs to be said, why do people ghost? Why are so many men willing to hurt someone so badly all because they don’t have the balls to deal with a situation? How do they sleep at night knowing they’re hurting someone every single day they ghost knowing the person just wants answers…it’s sick and I wonder why more people aren’t committing suicide from being dropped like that. And to say you’ll never hurt someone..to lie like that..
All I want is a boyfriend who will treat me right…but that seems to be asking the impossible. I’ll likely kill myself before it happens. — Watch live at https://www.twitch.tv/lydiaravens

source