Gay isn’t a sexuality. It’s a disclaimer. At least that’s what I learned after I came out. Like somehow liking men is the explanation for everything I do. Like if I had a name tag, you may as well put “Gay” instead of “Andrew” on it. Because so many people have started by introducing me, not with my name, but with “He’s gay.” Or “Don’t worry, he likes guys” As if that’s the only characteristic that makes me a good person to be around. Or explains my interests. Which to a degree? Yeah. But it’s scary too, in a way. Because it’s said so casually. As if it’s harmless. As if it doesn’t matter who hears. And I get it. I am out. I’ve been out. So it shouldn’t technically matter if someone says it about me either. But I can’t say I’ve always been out and proud. And I don’t think I’m helping my case of “Being gay isn’t my personality” when it’s all I’ve been talking about, But all roads lead back to the path of my identity. Not because I want it to, But it’s also clearly a really important detail… Not just in my introduction But in other people’s introduction of me. As a blanket statement of my existence. Because gay doesn’t mean “likes men” It means “not a threat to your boyfriend” “A girl’s pet” A disclaimer that says “He is different. Treat him as such.” And yet, at the end of the day, I’ll still be the one accused of making “gay” my personality. Because clearly, being… #mlm #comingout #gay
♬ original sound – Andrew John
@itsandrewjohn_ Gay isn’t a sexuality. It’s a disclaimer. At least that’s what I learned after I came out. Like somehow liking men is the explanation for everything I do. Like if I had a name tag, you may as well put “Gay” instead of “Andrew” on it. Because so many people have started by introducing me, not with my name, but with “He’s gay.” Or “Don’t worry, he likes guys” As if that’s the only characteristic that makes me a good person to be around. Or explains my interests. Which to a degree? Yeah. But it’s scary too, in a way. Because it’s said so casually. As if it’s harmless. As if it doesn’t matter who hears. And I get it. I am out. I’ve been out. So it shouldn’t technically matter if someone says it about me either. But I can’t say I’ve always been out and proud. And I don’t think I’m helping my case of “Being gay isn’t my personality” when it’s all I’ve been talking about, But all roads lead back to the path of my identity. Not because I want it to, But it’s also clearly a really important detail… Not just in my introduction But in other people’s introduction of me. As a blanket statement of my existence. Because gay doesn’t mean “likes men” It means “not a threat to your boyfriend” “A girl’s pet” A disclaimer that says “He is different. Treat him as such.” And yet, at the end of the day, I’ll still be the one accused of making “gay” my personality. Because clearly, being… #mlm #comingout #gay