Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men’s Lives by Walt Odets is a book that is very important not just for gay men to read to help understand ourselves, but also for everyone else to understand us a little better.

This section is about Erik Erikson and his 8 Ages of Development model, in which each age presents a central developmental challenge or task with different possibilities of outcomes and attitudes. A quote about nature vs. nurture:
“We are all patchwork quilts of strengths and vulnerabilities. If the element of nature are the fabric swatches we are handed at birth, our nurture influences how we stitch the swatches together to make the quilt.” We read about regression as facing scenarios or struggles from your past and reacting the same way you did, vs. reengagement which is facing of past events and allowing us to improve on our past resolutions to continue growth and maturation.

We read the story of Quentin, a 32 y/o patient. He acclaimed that he had a good childhood and did not want to talk about it, but after talking more, he opened up and discovered some trust issues he has with his partner Rick that started from childhood. He mimicked what he saw in his parents from childhood. As a child, he blamed himself for being gay so he decided to be a good boy and act independent, not asking for anything. To his parents, this came off as rejection, and Quentin was doing just that with Rick. He realized that he never left Rick take care for him.

This book aids in helping us own our authentic selves and realizing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with us. My goal is to share this masterpiece in its entirety and help individuals who struggle with being gay because of what they have been conditioned growing up, and also to educate non gay men into realizing that we are complete beings who are not broken because we are gay, but might be broken because of they way we have been treated about it.

I am not making money from this video and do not own the rights to this intellectual property. It is for educational purposes only.

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