You are in the bookstore and this cute girl stands next to you, browsing at magazines. After a few moments, she strikes up a conversation and you aren’t sure if she is flirting or just being friendly. How can you tell if she’s interested?
#1) Does she make eye contact with you? It’s an added bonus if she looks you in the eye and smiles!
#2) Has she touched your arm or brushed against you at all. If she is trying to get into your space, this could be a possible signal. If you return the gesture and she leans into you, it is a pretty safe bet that she is thinking what you are thinking.
#3) Does she have any tattoos that might give her away? A lot of lesbians will have some sort of ‘pride’ tattoo or other symbol that may give them away. Take a close look, it might be very subtle or it could be a great big rainbow, but you won’t know unless you take a close look.
#4) Does she have any jewelry that might give her away at all? A rainbow ring, necklace, a labrys is an older symbol of empowerment for women and could be a clue as to her sexuality. A ring on the thumb has been known to be an indicator of bisexuality and a ring on the middle finger of the left hand is sometimes worn by lesbians in a committed relationship. Not the traditional wedding ring finger, but the longest digit of the hand is the one to look for.
#5) Does she play with her hair when she talks and smiles at you? This is often the way a very femme woman will flirt. Look for the subtle changes in her face, her expressions and her eyes. The hair flipping, in conjunction with all the above is almost a sure bet that you are being flirted with.
#6) Casually mention your “last girlfriend” and wait for her response. If there is no look of shock, no obvious change in her demeanor and she still seems to be flirting with you, then she most likely is.
#7) Mention the name of a local gay club or bar and ask if she has ever been there. If she is familiar and says she has been there, then you are as good as gold, my friend. Ask her out!
#8) If you are the daring sort, and you are somewhere near a coffee shop or drink stand, ask her if she’d like something to drink and offer to get it. If she readily accepts your invitation, sits and talks with you, then most likely she is interested in you as much as you are in her!
#9) During your conversation, place your hand on the small of her back, very casually and direct her towards a door, a chair, anywhere. If she readily moves with you, it is her subconscious allowing you to take control of the situation and points to her desire for you to do so. At that point, you should be confident to ask her for her number so that you can “give her a call sometime”.
#10) Just come right out and ask her if all else fails. She seems interested and you just aren’t sure. The only way you will know is to just come right out and ask. Perhaps you say something sweet like “I really don’t mean to offend you so please, take it as a compliment, but I would love to meet a girl like you and get to know her. Any chance you might give me your phone number and do lunch sometime?” You are giving her a compliment and giving her an out all at the same time. She will tell you if she’s interested by accepting or declining. She might even come right out and say “I thought you’d NEVER ask!”
Good luck with your dating. It isn’t easy to meet quality people, especially out in public. More and more people are turning to online dating, but it certainly is more fun to have that initial spark from across the room and find an excuse to move closer and strike up a conversation. Maybe you will exchange glances and both play hard to get? The relationship dance is a fun one, if you allow yourself to enjoy it. Don’t let your anxiety keep you from having a little fun. Flirting is good for the soul…even if the girl turns out to be straight.