When my daughter told me she was gay and had a crush on a girl at college I was not surprised in the least. I had read the signs earlier. Most parents are fearful they will not ever be grandparents, or worry about being judged by other family members or close friends and the excuses and cover ups begin. Feelings of guilt shame and blame are all too familiar when you have a gay child. None of this need be. After all being gay is not a terminal disease.
Firstly it’s about your child, not you. Don’t allow yourself to be weighed down by what others might be thinking, because your friends will no doubt find out in time. Do not blame yourself as a parent. It’s something that occurs and there should be no blame game. It doesn’t help you to begin thinking of how it happened or speaking negatively to your child and feeling inadequate as a parent.
You can never force a gay person to become heterosexual any more than you can become gay if your not. It’s something that needs acceptance. I can give you some tips on how to remain closely connected to your child throughout the whole of your lives.
It’s better if you can treat your child the same as your other siblings, being mindful that they may need your support a bit more than the others. The world will prove to be a hard taskmaster, and people do not always agree with homosexuality through personal reasons of their own. This is still something that society needs to be educated about and your child will have big challenges to face through their life, and it is important your child is able to feel that they be closely connected to family members who are always open to discussion.
Trying to tell them who they should be instead of allowing them to just be is detrimental to both you and your child, and through the experiences I have had it is not a good idea to keep asking questions.
It is better you support them and never force them into leaving home as this is something you may come to regret as time goes by. The courage it takes a person to tell their family the truth about their sexuality requires strength and courage.
My daughter is now in her thirties, we have a very close bond because we took some very simple steps in creating a stable and loving environment in her developing years. Accepting your child for who they are is the best form of love you can display. It creates security and peace of mind for all the family and a good and well adjusted attitude.
And always have a spare bed ready when they visit.